For the Mostly Doomed
It probably won’t come as a great surprise to anyone that I used to weigh 250lbs. It might, however, surprise some to know that this blog and the recipes contained herein were written during the nine year period since I’d lost 100lbs. Yes, Capownie, a single thin slice of which comes in at about 2500 calories**, was invented by someone who eats approximately 1900 calories per day. Life is filled with irony.
Anyhow, I’m telling you all this because a couple of weeks ago I was interviewed for a podcast called “Half Size Me“. Actually, I was interviewed because a couple of months ago I wrote an article about my experiences with long-term weight loss. Don’t worry, I’m not starting the blog back up only to turn it into some hideous, low calorie recipe monstrosity. This blog is excessive and proud of it. But it was mentioned during the interview and a few nice people might find it and be totally unprepared for the onslaught. To anyone visiting via Half Size Me: Hi! and I’m sorry.
(Update: I’ve started a blog about my experiences with long-term weight loss. You probably shouldn’t have both blogs open at once lest you rip a hole in the space/time continuum.)
Y3, Week Six: Yet Another Heat Wave Pie
Seriously, why they stick national ice cream month in the middle of a heat wave every year is beyond me. I mean, I get it. It’s very hot, ice cream is very cold, yay! But my only really good light source is outside and at 100° I’ve got about five minutes to take pictures before I just have a pan filled with warm cream and soggy cookie crust. After frantically running in and out of my house with benches and cameras and ice cream pie, my neighbors now officially think I’m a crazy person. Don’t even get me started on transporting this baby to a friend’s house frozen-ness intact, I think I had to promise my first-born to some pagan deity, but I’m not completely sure.
Okay, I’m done ranting, onto the pie. When I was a kid my mom, the total gourmand, developed this passion bordering on obsession with Hostess Cupcakes. She’d buy the ginormous boxes of 48 individually wrapped cakes and eat at least one a day. Needless to say, we kids thought this was the best thing ever, and Mom took up running shortly thereafter.
Y3, Week Five: Far Better Than a Bee Sting Pie
This is thanks to my lovely friend Molly who has apparently been inspired by the wilds of Canada to find the most interesting desserts to try. Her latest suggestion was Bienenstich Cake, which I knew had to be pie-ified the moment I saw it.
Words of warning, remember to protect the pie crust edges when you bake it. The almond cracker crust is delicious, but not as much so when it’s rendered charcoal (read: I’m an idiot). Also, this pie gets a bit soggy after a couple of days, so it’s best served the day it’s made, or the day after. Although it’s good for a week of eating.
Bonus: It’s national cell phone courtesy month! Again!
I’ve been neglecting the blog, so I thought I’d post about some of the miscellanea I make in addition to pies during the summer. Prominent in that miscellanea is ice cream (gelato, sorbet, really anything sweet and cold and processable in my ice cream maker). I love ice cream. A lot. And one of the great things about America is we take the time to recognize the importance of really important things like hot dogs, and dead presidents, and we honor them with their own days and/or months as God intended. Which is why July is national ice cream month (and national hot dog month, national blueberry month, national anti-boredom month, and national cell phone courtesy month — all extremely important things). July is also nuclear hot, what better time then to try some new ice cream flavors.
Y3, Week Three: Abandonment Pie
I’m sorry, I’ve been a terrible pie blogger. No, I haven’t abandoned you, life (and my actual paying job) has just been crazy busy the last month. I have actually been baking, I just haven’t had time to give writing up the recipes and pics justice. I need one more of me…
The up side is you’re going to get a bunch of recipes this week! Yay! Yeah, I’m still a terrible blogger, but the recipe was a huge hit, so don’t blame it for the delay. I’ve already neglected it enough. Enjoy and see you soon!
Y3, Week Two: One does not simply walk into Mordor with full-sized pie
If it hasn’t already become painfully apparent, I’m a nerd. Proudly so. I own the entire Lord of the Rings EXTENDED edition trilogy box set and last weekend I watched all 12 hours of it in a single day. Some of my wonderful nerd friends joined me, some brought props, some even brought the next generation of nerds — some in costume no less (Helpful tip: Swords, while terribly dashing, are a tad inconvenient at parties). I love my people.
Y3, Week One: It’s a whole breakfast in a slice of pie
Holy crap, it’s the third Summer of Pie. If you’d told me two years ago that I’d still be doing this, I’d have said nobody likes pie that much. I was wrong. People love pie, people love pie a lot. Maybe because it’s so versatile, it can be anything you want it to be: savory or sweet, skinny or fat, rich or bland, fancy or plain, complex or simple. Pie is George Clooney. It’s famous and popular, yet down-to-earth and populist, all while dating smart and beautiful women and living in an Italian villa. Hmm, I probably should get out more…